SAN ANDREAS movie review

I'm kinda disappointed the Rock didn't punch the tsunami back into the ocean.

San Andreas is a disaster film starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson depicting the series of unfortunate events that would (probably not) happen if the San Andreas fault line would go off. It follows rescue pilot Ray Gaines as he is given the chance to reconnect with his wife (Carla Gugino) as they try to save rescue daughter (Alexandra Daddario) from the earthquake.

I was pretty excited for this film, because The Rock has loads of on-screen charisma, so I love it when he stars in over-the-top and cartoon-y action movies like the Fast & Furious series or even last year's Hercules. Plus, who doesn't love a dumb fun disaster movie?

Well, this isn't that. This film is so dull and boring that it managed to neuter the Rock. I don't know how they did it, but they took one of the most charismatic actors working today and gave him a melodramatic role that accurately showcased how not to present the Rock. He's clearly not the best dramatic actor yet the movie gives him loads of scenes that are meant to be emotional, and he just doesn't execute them well. To top it off, they don't even try to build off his charisma or likability. True, he has one nice sequence where he saves a bunch of people, but other than that, he just comes off as stern.

He's terribly miscast, but the supporting cast is rather good. Daddario plays a much needed role after her minor yet notable appearance in True Detective. She plays a capable survivor and she's quite likable in the role. Paul Giamatti may have been the best actor to come out of the film. He's no Ken Watanabe in terms of disaster film exposition, but he was, to some degree, over-the-top enough to make me enjoy and stay awake through all the exposition.

The film could be described as a bunch of well-made, thrilling sequences with a lot of boring background noise in between. There is no denying those action sequences are well-made, but you still have to sit through tediously long conversations for more than half the time (I swear, a waitress stated that she'd read out the specials, and I believed that she would because that wouldn't even have been the most boring conversation of the movie). San Andreas is also another disaster film with the same old family reconnection drama. It's boring melodrama and I've grown tired of it.

There's probably only two ways a disaster film could appeal to me now. It could either be ridiculously fun disaster film, where they don't take the drama too seriously and just focus on the entertainment value or it could go the Godzilla (2014) route by not attempting at giving the characters any deep substance and instead develop the larger, thematically relevant story. Honestly, that masterpiece of a disaster movie is probably the bar I'll set for disaster movies from now on.

San Andreas is harmed by its drive to develop its main characters through its boring, melodramatic story. The action sequences are thrilling, but the Rock is excruciatingly dull. Highly recommended to drink coffee during the calm moments.